Stuck in a Rut...

I know it feels as though I write these posts all of the time, about how much I love blogging and how terrible I am at it because I have no time, or no inspiration, or whatever my usual excuse it. But this time, I don't have an excuse. I am just stuck. I feel stagnant, like I'm stood in one place unable to move forward whilst everyone else is rushing past making amazing progress, making amazing things and I'm just a little puddle, a little mess. 

I've been trying desperately to find words to create something I could be proud of, but instead the only word that comes to mind is 'stagnant', which I guess is what I'm feeling... I've tried to fill my days with lovely things, lovely people, and adventures. For the most part however, I've wanted to stay in bed. I have so much free time to enjoy and I'm not enjoying it. I don't know what to do, and I hate it. I just want to sleep, to waste my days playing games on my phone or mindlessly scrolling through social media. I've tried to read, but I cannot concentrate. I've tried to see people but I end up exhausted. I feel as though I have no purpose. 

I want to get better, and this is my way of trying. Please be patient with my while I figure out life. 

Reasons To Stay Alive - Matt Haig

This book will make you cry. It made me cry, and if it did that to me, it'll do it to you. This book, for me, hit home, and it hit home hard. It's about the real-life struggle of recovering from depression and anxiety; it's raw and harsh and brutally honest. But it gets better, it's not all tough reading. It makes you feel better for having read it and having reached the happy ending. 

While this was definitely one of the most difficult books I've read in terms of context, I'm glad that I forced myself though it because it's made me see things a little differently. There's an interesting thought from Matt Haig about running and how it helps him to manage anxiety; he says that running gives the same feeling as a panic attack - racing heart, ragged breathing, etc. - but it isn't one. (this has kinda made me want to go running now? I'll keep you updated on that). 

The way that Haig has approached writing this book is absolutely perfect for the content. It's brutally honest, which is exactly what we need to break the stigma surrounding mental health, it's funny in all of the right places, and yet it manages to be sensitive. It covers everything from mental health stigma, to statistics, to how to cope, and it even tells you what celebrities have depression/anxiety, which I personally feel is brilliant to include because it made me feel so much more normal, and less alone. 

I want to say so much about this book, but I've only read it once (I'm working my way up to reading it again, I really loved it!), and I haven't planned what exactly I want to say. 
But, the world needed this book. The world still needs this book. I want everyone to read it, and understand perhaps not what it's like, but how common things like depression, and like anxiety are. This book lets the world know that no two struggles, no two battles are the same, but each one is valid. It also gives others the chance to get their voice heard, and to share their reasons to stay alive. 

I guess since I'm writing, or rather babbling, about this book, I'll give you my reasons to stay alive...

♥ a cup of tea on a cold and rainy morning 

♥ spontaneous visits from friends

♥ laughter - it's always there somewhere

♥ fairy lights and candles and cosy blankets - those things feel safe. 

I have quite a few others but I don't want those to take away from what I'm trying to say about this book. 

Read it. Read it again, and again because like with any book, you'll notice something new. Highlight the important quotes, things you want to remember. Make it your own. 

Make your own reasons to stay alive. 

- Dottie ♥

Teenage Ramblings...

Hello all! Some wonderful buddies and I have decided to set up a group blog, sharing thoughts, photos, art, poetry and just everyday ramblings about life. If that sounds like something you'd be interested in, click right here to check it out! It was only created a matter of hours ago, so there's not much content there just yet, but it's going to be a pretty fun place to hang out once it's up and running. 

I'll be writing in a somewhat similar format to this blog over here, but it's a whole new adventure, growing a new audience, etc. etc. I'm very excited for this chance to learn more about blogging and writing in general. (Any tips would be much appreciated!) 

Anyway, I need to go and take off my makeup and go to bed as I am super tired! Here's to having more time for writing, blogging, photography, and fun!

- Dottie x

A Well-Needed Break...

Amroth Wave Breakers

Hi gang, 

While I know I've been terrible at sticking to my schedule and writing weekly posts for the last few months, recently I've had a reason for not posting. I went away for a week with my family and my boyfriend, and it was such a refreshing and relaxing break that I would do almost anything to go back.. 

Amroth Beach

We stayed in a tiny town called Amroth, which is in Pembrokeshire in the south west of Wales. It's absolutely stunning there and my family and I have been visiting for years! While we didn't get up to much in terms of doing super-exciting things, we did really enjoy just seeing the sights, visiting various beaches and just generally exploring the local area, as we do pretty much every time we're there. 
So, we left home around 10am last Saturday (8th July), and arrived at 1pm. I spent most of the journey sleeping so it was all fine. We went for a wander on the beach, grabbed a cup of tea from the cafe on the beachfront, and then ate a picnic.. There's not a lot to say about Saturday other than my boyfriend managed to fall on the beach and break his pinkie finger, so my Saturday evening was spent in A&E! 

Tenby Beach and Harbour pictured below

Sunday was a lazy day on the beach in Amroth, and I had a bath in the evening with Lush's Fizzbanger bath bomb. The verdict on that one? Disappointing. 

We spent Monday in the little town of Tenby, which is super sweet! There's a little harbour, some cute boho and surf shops, and a lovely beach! I spent £50 on a super cosy Animal hoodie.

Tuesday was another lazy day, and it rained non-stop all day, so we just went for a drive to see all of the sights. Was pretty fun. 

Wednesday was lovely, we packed a picnic and went to the National Trust beach, Barafundle Bay. It's absolutely stunning there and definitely worth a visit if you're in the area. After our picnic we went on to an even more stunning beach at Freshwater West, which has made me crave the surfing life for some odd reason... We had Pimms O'Clock (well, I had cider) in the evening and that was Wednesday done. 

Freshwater West

I was really sad Thursday because it was almost time to go home, so my family went back to Freshwater West and my boyfriend and I watched a movie while we had lunch, then explored the Amroth beach some more before having a hot chocolate in the cafe. 

Finally, Friday was again a local hang-out day, cups of tea, ice creams, and a last pub meal before we had to head home on Saturday.. 

I thoroughly enjoyed my week, it was really just what I needed after the last year and a bit of working and learning, and I feel much more refreshed now, even if I am a little sad to be home..

Hah, this post was more than punctuated by photos, but I really enjoyed taking them! Can you believe they were all taken on my phone?! 

Anyway, I've eaten an entire bar of Galaxy chocolate whilst writing this so I need to stop now! Plus, I'm just filling space...

See you soon!
- Dottie x

I Could Go Anywhere...

Recently when I've finished work early or had a short shift and just gotten in my car, I've been thinking about how I could just go anywhere, about how I could just keep on driving away from everything... It's weird, and yet it's something that I really want to do someday. 

Of course, there are so, so many setbacks to my plan - money, passport, nowhere to go, etc. and I think that's exactly why I want to just drive, and keep on driving. 

Because why not? 

What's life without a little adventure?