You Are YOU

Hi You, 

I am writing this to tell you that you are You. You cannot be anyone but Yourself. I want you to understand this - no, I need you to understand this, because the You that you are is beautiful, perfect, and most of all, You are You-nique. [1] 

I want to tell you, and you need to understand that it doesn't matter that She passed her driving test in three months, or that He got a higher score than you on a test you studied so much for. These things don't matter because You will progress at Your Own Rate. It might take you an entire year to learn to drive, or three attempts to ace that test, but You Will Do It. You will learn about yourself in the process, and you will achieve whatever it is you wish to. 

It just takes time. 

The You that you are is the perfect one, the one that doesn't need to change for anybody, or anything except for Yourself. I want you to live your life for one person - Yourself. [2] This person is the one you're living for, the one you need to make happy. You don't need to change your hair, or go on a diet to make people fall in love with You, because they can already see You are you are - wonderful. 

When we look in a mirror, we never see ourselves as the entire person we are; a reflection can't show you how you beautiful your smile is when you're close to tears from laughter, or how stunning your eyes are when you're so focused on that book you're reading. A mirror only shows us what we show it - a two-dimensional version of ourselves, and We are far more than that. 

Someone has fallen in love with you when you've been curled up in an armchair in a coffee shop with a dog-eared copy of your favourite novel. A real person has admired your outfit choice from afar in a shopping mall. People have watched with awe as you've done that thing that you can't tell you're amazing at. 

I want you to see You as You. The real You. Stop comparing yourself to Her, Him, or Them. Ignore the person that people are trying to show you they are on social media, because that isn't them. People are messy, we all cry, we all hurt, we all bleed. No one is perfect, and that makes us unbelievably so, because we can embrace that, and fall in love with ourselves. 

You are You. No one else. Please love yourself, and allow yourself to be loved. I promise that you are worthy of it. 

Sincerely, 
Someone who is trying so damn hard to believe the words she writes. 

[1] - I wish I could say I'm sorry for that terrible pun, but alas, I cannot. 
[2] - (I mean no disrespect to any God/Gods you may hold, I just want you all to believe in yourself).

Growing Up, Falling In Love, and Other Scary Stuff

I don't know about you reading this, but when I follow a blogger, I like to know a little bit about them, and I think it's nice to get to know the author through their writing. I know it's been quite a while since I last wrote a little update on how things are going, so let's go for it! 

I'm at college, where we have project to record an EP and produce a music video, along with some other smaller assignments. Plans for these are slowly being put in place, and I'm actually pretty excited for that! 

Elsewhere in my life, my eighteenth birthday passed uneventfully; I still haven't been drunk, or bought a beer at a pub. That needs to happen soon! (The pub part, not being drunk!). I spent my birthday with my family, my grandparents included, and my boyfriend came to my house for the evening, too so it was such a lovely day! 

A week after my birthday, I passed my practical driving test! I can now legally go out onto the roads in my own little car, and get around much more easily, without relying on my parents or busses to get me places! How awesome, right?! 

So those are all of the rather mundane happenings... What's the scary stuff, I hear you ask? Well, let me tell you! 

I'm now technically classed as an adult, and I am feeling as though I really need to start growing up, and being way more responsible for just my own life in general. I need to find a permanent part-time job, as I'm in college for just three days a week, and I'm going to need to run a car, which is incredibly expensive. I currently have a job that I can do during college holidays, but it's only twelve hours a week, which isn't really ideal. I'm frantically applying for Christmas temporary staff positions, to try and earn enough for a tattoo and my car's MOT in January, but as I'm writing this, I can't say I've gotten a job yet... 

As I'm also currently in my second year of college, I need to start properly thinking about what I want to do next. Do I go to university, like I've always dreamed, or do I take a gap year, and work to earn my money? It's a really difficult decision, because each option has so many pros, and cons. I really don't know what I want to do, so wish me luck with that! 

I don't really know what else to tell you, other than I'm happy with life, despite being so scared and stressed about things at the moment... I've been in a super happy, very loving relationship for almost eight months, and I have to tell you that being in love really can be a beautiful thing. It shows you a different perspective, of both the world, and yourself, and I love that. 

Finally, it's that beautiful season where it's acceptable to start getting excited and prepared for Christmas, and I love that!

I hope you all have such a beautiful day!
- Dottie x

Why It's OKAY For You to Hate Your First Job

Hey guys! I think I've spoken before on this blog about my first job, but if you're new here, then I'll give you a quick explanation of what went down there... 

I was sixteen, and it was a few months before I started my GCSE exams. I worked in the cafe of a busy tourist attraction, and I won't lie to you guys - I hated it with a passion. I felt anxious the evening before I had to go in, and the next morning, I wouldn't be able to eat due to being so worried. I just felt like I wasn't ready to be in the working world, and I didn't have very good people skills. I worked from 9am to 5pm, with about a twenty minute break for food. I had to run about all day, checking tables were clear, washing up (a lot!), and serving customers. It was stressful, but if I were to go back now, I think I'd be okay at it. 

You see, when I had that job, I was still very much a shy, socially awkward child. I just wasn't ready for that amount of responsibility. 

Now, if you're still reading this, you're either one of my fabulous best friends, or avid readers (I know there's a couple of you, and I love you!!), or you aren't a fan of your job and want to know what I think about that. So, here goes...

I think it's perfectly okay to hate your first job because, well, it's your first job. You haven't worked before, you don't understand how to be in this new environment. That's perfectly fine, we all need to start somewhere. For some of you, much like it was for me, perhaps you aren't ready to be in this adult world where too much is expected of you, and you're struggling. I understand, and these feelings are perfectly valid. 

My current job is as a cleaner for a high-end holiday company, and a lot is expected of me, and the team I work with. After my second shift at this job, I was totally ready to quit - I felt as though I could never achieve what they expected me to. But. I kept at it. Now, I'm actually pretty good at it, and I can damn well clean a bathroom good! 
Sometimes, all it takes is a little bit of time to get used to your job, before you decide that you like it. If this is the reason you're not enjoying your job, give it some time and allow yourself to get used to it. 

I know a lot of people that didn't like their first job, or perhaps their first proper job (as some people get temp jobs...), so if you're out there, hating your workplace, just remember that you're not alone!
This job that you're working isn't permanent, it's not where you're going to be in five, or ten years time. It's only one job, and you will have so, so many others. Some, you may hate more, others you might love, and that's perfectly fine, but I promise you that it can, and will get better. 

The working world is a big, scary place, and you're still young. You have plenty of time to figure it out, and I know you will. 

Good luck to all of you out there, and I hope you're having a lovely day. 

- Dottie. x

(Image credit goes to Laura Simms, and the original can be found by clicking here). 

I Hate Being Hit On.

When I was around fifteen years old, I attended a gig where an older man (somewhere in his forties) offered to buy me a drink. I said no. He kept on asking. I kept on saying no. When he finally got the picture, and his mate had buggered off to the bar, he continued to hang around near me, talking to me, despite me blatantly trying to ignore him. The headline band started playing and he put his arm around me. This is not okay. Clearly I wasn't interested and he didn't get that. I ended up walking off and a guy around my age who I'd spoken to in the queue made sure I was okay... I can remember him telling me that I'd looked really scared of the older guy. 

When I was going to get a bus after college one day, one of those people who try to sell you things asked for my number. As in, he was asking me out on a date. Nah, mate. You're at least twenty-five (and I was seventeen), and I had a boyfriend. God knows what I would have said to him if I couldn't have told him that... I've also had numerous guys at gigs ask my name, or just randomly start talking to me. One has even gone as far as to try to kiss me. While I was completely okay with him up until this point, because he was a nice guy, funny and interesting, surely he knew nothing would come of that would-be kiss, since we both lived really, really far apart?  

When I've been walking alone, and with friends along busy roads, we've had lorry drivers, or just drivers honk their horns at us. That is truly disgusting. Then there's the guys who look at you like you're a piece of meat, and the guys that yell obscene crap at you. 

It doesn't impress us, lads!

Each and every time I've had attention from a random stranger, it's been unwanted. I'm just trying to get home, or have a nice time at a gig, or spend some time with friends. Never am I going to look at a catcaller, or random bloke who wants to buy me a drink at a gig and think yup, that's him. That's the one I'm going to marry. Because no fucking way! Get to know me, and do something sweet, don't just assume you're entitled to my body. Honestly, no one is entitled to your body, not even your boyfriend or girlfriend, and that is something too few people realise. Your body, your rules. 

People need to have so, so much more respect for each other, and understand that not everyone is out to get laid. 

Cool beans. 

- Dottie x 

What's Really Up With the Music Industry...

Yesterday, I volunteered at my local, council-run music venue, which attracts some pretty big bands, including Wheatus, and Puddle of Mudd... Old bands, but good bands. 

Anyway, the event that I was working was a Bars & Melody gig. The band, for those of you that don't know, were on Britain's Got Talent, and they made quite a splash. Personally, I've not listened to them, but the gig yesterday really hammered something home for me - the music industry really exploits people. 

I'll say that again for those of you who didn't hear. 

The music industry really exploits people.

I'm not just talking the general public here, but bands and artists as well. The boys in Bars & Melody are around sixteen years old, and they're out there in the world, playing shows to screaming fans. They're signed to Syco Music, which is basically run by Sony Music. They're making money for a big, big label, and they're sixteen. Don't they deserve to just do this for fun?!

What's more is that their fans are so young. I saw some really young people there last night, and I just cannot comprehend it. These young people got their parents to fork out so much money for tickets, and most of them purchased a meet and greet ticket, which cost around £65 each. That's a lot of money for a poster, lanyard, and photo, right?! This crazy, crazy fan culture doesn't even stop to think that they're paying to meet another human.They're being exploited, and this isn't right. 

I completely understand that this is an industry, and money needs to be made because hey, money makes the world go 'round, right?! But there are much better ways of generating income than getting young, impressionable children to part with their pocket money. I used to be a part of this excitable, impressionable audience; I went to so many gigs, always spent around £20 to £30 on t-shirts, wristbands, and CDs... I realise now that this is a waste. You don't need to buy clothes to support an artist. You only need to buy something if you really, genuinely want it. Bands understand that we don't all have the cash to just throw away.
I point-black refuse to buy meet and greet tickets. I saw a blog post by Rou Reynolds of Enter Shikari, where he basically explained exactly why it's so wrong of people to charge for meet and greets. You can read more on that by clicking here, and read someone else's opinion on the subject here. 

The point is, we let ourselves be exploited, by queuing outside in the freezing cold for ten hours, or buying that new album the day it's out in stores. 

And bands and artists? Well, some need to be exploited, because otherwise, they'll never get anywhere... Others, well they take a stand. And we can stand with them. Be independent, think for yourself. Just stop and think about what you're spending your hard-earned cash on, and if it's really, 100% worth it.Chances are, that VIP photo isn't, and that band member isn't going to fall in love with you. Sorry. 

- Dottie x

Why Are Periods Gross?!?

Many people (females included!!) feel the need to comment on the fact that periods are "gross". Why? What makes something so normal so gross? It's estimated that around half of the world's population menstruates, and yet we are still taught to keep quiet about it, keep it hidden, keep it secret. Why?
I, personally, feel perfectly comfortable talking about periods, especially my own, and especially since I purchased and started using my menstrual cup, which by the way, really isn't as disgusting as tampons and pads. So ha. 

What I fail to understand is why so many people are repulsed by something that is both completely normal, and completely natural. I know that sometimes, the concept of it is a little bit 'ew', because the lining of an internal organ falls out, and there's blood, cramps, etc. but this happens to your stomach; the cells of the internal walls of the stomach are constantly being shed and replaced. It's a normal process, which isn't seen as disgusting. 

I was trying to convince my boyfriend the other day that period blood is perfectly normal, and that it's the same as other blood. This isn't something that should be convinced, because it is a very true fact. It's not repulsive, it doesn't smell gross, it's perfectly good blood... (can blood even be 'good'?!) 

The period itself is not gross. It is not disgusting. It's not something that anyone should be repulsed by, least of all those who actually do menstruate! 

I can tell you a few things that are disgusting about menstruation, though. 

Firstly, in third world countries such as Uganda, girls would much rather miss approximately a week at school (when they're on their period), than go to school, due to not having the correct sanitary protection and understanding peers. This is not good, at all. I cannot even begin to stress just how important education is, and how damaging discrimination against those who menstruate is. Education should be a right, not a privilege.

Secondly, tampons are (or, were depending on laws and legislation passed) classed as a luxury item. This makes no sense. Again, tampons and other sanitary products are not a privilege, they are something that are necessary. We do not choose to bleed, yet we are forced to pay more for an item that is apparently a "luxury". That is disgusting. 

And this leads me on to my final point, which is just how vile tampons can be. This is all from a medical/physical point of view, as I have never actually used a tampon in my life, but it's still all true and correct. 

Tampons are absorbent, that's true. They are also incredibly great for periods BUT they are too absorbent: basically, there are fluids there are needed in the vagina (yup, I'm going there...), and when you use a tampon, it isn't just the blood that is absorbed, it's everything, which can cause all sorts of problems and irritations down there. They are also a pretty good breeding ground for the bacteria that causes toxic shock syndrome, or TSS. This bacteria already lives in the vagina, but wearing a tampon too long creates the correct environment for it to breed and can make you incredibly ill. 

Think about how many pads and tampons are in landfill sites, or end up washed up on beaches or whatever. That's pretty disgusting, and sanitary protection is also incredibly expensive, especially in the long-term.

Also, there's just a tonne of blood that literally gets absorbed. I don't find that nice. 

Instead, there are healthier options, such as menstrual cups, which are better for your body, your wallet, and your world. It's win-win-win. 

I didn't write this post to scare anyone, so I am going to conclude by letting you know that tampons are still perfectly safe to use, as long as you change them every four to six hours (or when needed!), and you take breaks from using them when on your period. 

I'd also like to invite you all to talk about periods, break the stigma, and if you'd like me to write a menstrual cup review, please let me know, because I actually really want to! 

I hope this was interesting and informative. 

Until next time,

- Dottie x

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time REVIEW

Hello!!

I mentioned in my book haul post (which you can read by clicking here) that I had purchased and was reading The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon.
I have to start off this review by saying that I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book; it's written in a similar 'voice' to that of The Perks of Being a Wallflower (Stephen Chbosky, which is one of my favourite books. So, obviously, it correlates that a book that reads similarly is going to be something that I enjoy. 

The main character and narrator is fifteen-year-old Christopher Boone, who is taking A Level Maths, and has Asperger's, which is a form of autism. This book isn't a coming of age story, it's a mystery novel with a twist, which I must tell you, I really wasn't expecting.
The way that the story is written shows that the author has a really great understanding of those who see things differently, and it is incredibly insightful to read this. 

The Curious Incident is written in such a way that you cannot put it down, each chapter ends in a way that leaves you wanting to know more, and more of the story. Furthermore, it's what I would call an 'easy read', which means that there's no complex character backstories, and only one story line to follow, so it's perfect to read whilst relaxing. 

I would recommend this book to anyone that enjoyed The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Paper Towns, Looking For Alaska, or We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves. It's definitely more of a young adult/teen fiction story, but I believe it has been studied in schools for GCSEs, so make of that what you will. 

I think the story is well-written and enjoyable, and it is definitely entertaining. Some parts are funny, some are sad, and some are a tad strange, but that all adds to the charm of it. 

It is a must-read!!

Thank you for taking the time to read this review, I hope you enjoyed it!
Let me know if I should write more of these!

- Dottie x