2015 - A Year in Review.

Bloody hell, it's 2016 in just a few hours!! I swear it was June just a few days ago..? This year has gone both crazily fast and crazily slow, and has also been just a crazy year in general! So much has happened, and today I'm going to look back and review some of it!

WARNING: Most things featured will probably involve music, or gigs. 

Enter Shikari small gig

Okay, you have been warned. We can continue now.. 

Hmm.. Let's start out with surviving my final few months at school.. And 23 exams.. Well, 24.. 25? Something like that! I survived it, and passed everything. I'm proud of that.. I got so stressed because of school, and I feel like, as stupid as it sounds, I am a stronger person for it. I can certainly handle emotions better now!!

Also, holy crap, Reading Festival!! And Enter Shikari.. Enter Shikari, dude!! Turbowolf.. I've seen so many truly awesome bands, and met some pretty cool people at gigs, too!! Like, this year has been the craziest ever, really, in terms of gigs, and festivals, and just music in general. I really cannot believe that I went to Reading Festival, even if it was only for a day. I saw Metallica.. That is so brilliant, and amazing! Every time I see the word "Metallica" or hear someone talking about them, I just freak out (Internally) because I'm 17 years old, and I saw them.. Sooooo mad!! And Pierce the Veil, Bring Me the Horizon.. Yellowcard.. Y'know, big bands, or bands that used to be big.. (Bring on the punk revival!!) 

Bring Me the Horizon, Reading

Hmm, what else music-wise has happened?? I know!! I started a music technology course at college!! That's just crazy, dude! It's so weird to think that I'm actually doing something that I love, and something that's going to help me achieve my dream career.. And I love learning, I really do! I do have some regrets, though..

I haven't stayed in contact with some of the people I was really close to. And I do kindaaaa miss them.. But then again, they haven't bothered to keep in contact with me, so.. I also feel that I'm wasting my potential; I should be doing science A Levels, and, I don't know, finding the cure for world hunger or something.. But then I guess that it's important to be happy..

I have spent more days being happy this year, I think.. In general.. And I've spent more time with people I really care about.. Y'know, like my amazing best friends, and my brilliant family.. And I've realised who my real friends are, too. And I know, now, that I don't need anyone else, because the friends that I have are literally the best.. You know who you are!!

I've also tried to get into photography more, and notice my surroundings. I think I got some pretty good photos.. Or, at least, I think they're good, hahah!! I'm trying out new things, and it's fun! And I got back into blogging, which is awesome!! I remembered recently why I started blogging in the first place, and that makes me so happy!!

Now, as stupid as this sounds, I can't actually remember most of what has happened this year, but I know that 2015 has been a really bloody amazing year, and I'm so thankful to have been able to live it. I appreciate everything that has happened this year, and I look forward to more amazing years, and more adventures with some amazing people..

And thank you guys, if you regularly read my blog! It means a lot, and it's crazy to think that even a few people visit my (really) little corner of the internet! Thank you!!

Happy New Year!! Here's to a good one!!

- Dottie.

I'm Getting Bad at This...

It seems that once my blog starts to loo good, and attract a few more people, y'know, get a few more page views, something seems to happen that prevents me from writing good content.

Now, yesterday's post is fine, as I was out all day with my friends. However, today, all I've done is spend a few hours at an indoor climbing centre. Hardly taxing, really. I could have got up early to write something interesting, or not lazed around all evening. But I didn't. So now I'm lay in bed, writing this from my iPod. Y'know, it bugs me that I can't write good content every single day. I don't have the time, nor the inspiration. But I would love to. I really enjoy writing, and reading what others write. It's going to be so weird just being able to drop off to sleep without suddenly thinking "oh shoot!! I forgot to write a blog post!!!' 

Doing this little Blogmas has actually been a lot of fun, and good practice for me. It's also kind of changed my career goal. I'm really interested in music journalism now. Maybe once I get too old to be a decent sound engineer..? Hahah I don't know, but I love writing, so it seems  good!! 

Okay, I'm actually really tired, and I might have to get up early tomorrow, so I'm leaving this here for today. Hopefully I can write something decent tomorrow! 

Bye! 

- Dottie. 

Life, and Stuff...

It's like 11 PM, and I'm super tired, so I doubt this post will make any sense. However, I refuse to break my streak of writing every day for nearly three weeks, so.... 

Today I hung out with Emma and Vicky, and it was really lovely to see people! Especially them, because I don't see them very often any more, and they're my best friends.. We basically just hung out and watched movies and played Guitar Hero, which was fun! 

But I've also been thinking about my college friend. She's a lovely girl, and we get on well, but there's just something... I'm not sure what it is. Maybe it's because she will never be Emma, or Vicky, she will never just understand me like they do.. Or it could be the fact that she never really tells whole truths; she's secretive, and sometimes she slips up, and leaves me wondering what's really going on.. I don't even know, but I feel bad for not knowing how I feel about her.. But I know she is a lovely person, and the only one at college (from my course) that made an effort to speak to me on the first day.. 

This is making me sad. I feel lonely when I think about college, but I think, when I get there, I put on this mask, become this character, a version of Dottie that I don't quite know. And this Dottie is happy. But she's not me, I cannot be 100% myself, I don't show emotion, I just make out like I'm happy, because I don't want to explain my brain to these people. 

I think that's what it is. I'm playing a happy Dottie who is shy, and quiet, and kinda uncomfortable in basically every social situation. Whereas I think I'm not shy, just introverted, and I do like to talk, and being sociable is quite fun. It's cool talking to strangers, like at gigs and on the bus.. That makes me sound mad! 

But yeah, I walk into college and put on this mask and it only comes off when I get home. So I am still happy. Just not quite happy enough. 

Okay, that's enough of writing down my silly, sad thoughts. 

Bye for today! 

- Dottie. 

Let's 'Av a Chat!!

Hmm, well.. It's been a while since I've done one of these little chatty, honest posts, so I'm not really sure what to write. Recently, I've been like "WE MUST SAVE THE WORLD AND BE PUNK AND ALTERNATIVE AND THIS GENERATION SUCKS!!" and I'm not even sure why. I mean, I think I kind of have a point, we do need to do something about the state of the world.. Y'know, like global warming and going to war to prevent war (because logic..), but then we also need to be teenagers.. And it's so weird, finding a balance. 

I wish I could actually do something about the state of the earth, but I don't really know what. I buy cruelty-free beauty products as often as I can. I don't smoke, I don't litter.. But it's not enough for me.. But I'm leaving this thought for now, because I don't want this post to be about that.. 

I just wanted to write a cool, chatty, chilled out post, because this blog is still my personal diary-thing, I guess.. 

So what's new?! Well, it's been Christmas, so I'm getting excited to go back to college again!! We're starting live sound in January, and this is basically why I took Music Tech! I am really, super-duper excited to start live sound, because I'm really interested in it, and I just want to be able to work at gigs.. That's all I want from life, really..
I've also been looking into music journalism, because I adore writing, going to gigs, and listening to music, so I think writing gig and album reviews would actually be something I enjoy doing! So yeah, that's a thing!! I hope to be able to update you on how that's going soon!! 

Hmm, what else?? I got a new pair of jeans.. I know, how boring, right?! But if you know me, you know that I basically live in black skinny jeans.. And these new jeans.. AREN'T BLACK!! Which is really cool.. I love them, although they're stretchy, which worries me.. Stretchy jeans and me isn't a good combination.. I don't really know why, but they end up really baggy and it looks odd.. 

I don't have anything to write about and it's so weird!! It's crazy to think that I've written a post everyday for nearly three weeks! I'm so proud of myself for that, and I've loved writing.. Although I usually end up writing a new post at 11 at night.. Not good.. I'm actually writing at a normal hour, for once!!

Okay, I'm going to leave you with this photo of something I saw in the woods.. I thought it was cute and unusual!! 

I just thought this was lovely.. And sad, maybe???

Okay, bye for today!!
- Dottie. 

What's Happened to the Subcultures?!

This image is not my own, it's from Pinterest, I believe!

Okay, so this post is inspired by a pair of boots.. The lovely Oxblood/Cherry Red Doctor Martens, which I am thinking of purchasing. And I was looking for some style guides, or some inspiration on how to wear them, and I stumbled upon a forum of literally loads of people warning against buying them. 

You see, the Oxblood Docs, or black Docs, are, or were, associated with a group of people from the late sixties/early seventies called the "skinheads". The skinheads evolved from the working class mods, and were the people who couldn't afford to go to university. Instead, they were stuck with being labourers or dock workers, hence the utility/work boots they wore. Basically, the skinheads were a bunch of youths who wore jeans rolled up so that you could see their big boots, and Fred Parry polo shirts and denim jackets, or y'know, big jackets. They were intimidating, and they were called skinheads because they shaved their heads. This subculture evolved from ska/reggae music, and from the attitude of those who immigrated to the UK. Basically, it came from rubbing shoulders with people of different ethnicities. 

So, I will say this: 

Skinheads were not originally racist or radical. 

Thank you. 

The whole look of skinheads, their intimidating presence, was adapted by those in different countries who didn't understand it's roots. That's where the idea of skinheads being radical/right-wing/neo-Nazis came from. 

And there were so, so many other subcultures a few decades ago. The mods, and the rockers, who opposed them. The skinheads, punks, and the hippies, who were kind of educated mods, I guess. 

All of these subcultures evolved from something, and all of the youths who were a part of the movements had something to fight for. The skinheads wanted equality, the hippies wanted an end to the Vietnam war. These people represented who they were by what they wore, and their voices were those of the big bands and musicians of their day. 

And what do we have now? Look at us. Think about it. 

We have nothing, fuck all. We think we are all original, and bar a few of the alternative people, we really aren't. Now I'm not entirely sure I'm the right person to talk about this, as I am a member of the alternative community, but this is something that has sparked my interest. 

Our generation are better off than any generation before us, as a whole. I understand that, individually, this may not be true, but we have more than any other generation has had. And this will continue to be the case as we grow up and have children, and there is a new generation of youths. 

I don't think we, as a generation, appreciate this enough. 

Look around you right now. I bet you have a phone, some pretty decent shoes, nice enough clothes. Aren't you lucky? What did you get for Christmas, something nice? Because same. My phone is literally sat right next to me, I'm writing this on a pretty good laptop. 

We, as youths, have become lazy. What do we stand for now? The answer to that is nothing. On the internet, we can say we're feminists, and we're all for equality, and that we want wars to stop. But are we out there doing anything? Fuck no!! As a whole, the youth of today is standing to the side and letting life pass by. We don't even attempt to have a say in anything! Where are the protest rallies against the privatisation of the NHS? Oh, wait, we're all sat inside tweeting about it, or rather, about how much we don't care, it doesn't affect us. But it does. 

The youth of today is so pathetic. We all try to be so identically original that it defeats the point. It's a case now, of every man for himself. We only care for ourselves. Of course, we don't remember what it was like a few decades ago.. But we should know. We should have an interest, and we should be curious about how our world works. 

We are force-fed stupid media stuff, all of this commercial pop music, making us feel as though we're happy and content with life. And yet, if we wake up and see, we really aren't. Youth subcultures used to give people a sense of belonging, and a family that wasn't related by blood. You could just look at someone and know instantly what music they listened to, whether they read books, or drank beer. You just kind of knew who someone was by taking a look at them, and what they were wearing. 

And now we have no clue.. Only the punks/Goths/rockers/scene kids/metalheads/emos stand out in today's society.. 

We need to stand up and fight for what we want in life, because the government isn't going to just hand it to us. We need to tell them what we want. We need to stop being sheep and go check out a new band, a different band, some new music. Stop dancing to stuff that has heavy bass, and try out some guitar music. And those who mosh, listen to house music. Just stop trying to be someone that you might not be. Be open to new ideas, and get the hell out of your house for once!!

Okay, this wasn't all that I wanted to write, but I can't remember what it was that I wanted to write. 

I want our generation to stop being such wet blankets and stand up and say "This is me!! Stop holding me down, and let me fight for my rights!!" I want the youths of today to be empowered, and know they can accomplish whatever the heck they want to!!

Thank you, and goodnight!

- Dottie. 

Merry Christmas!

It's almost 11:30 here in the UK, and I've finally gotten into bed.

I've had a busy, yet lovely Christmas with my family, and I'm so happy that everyone who has received a gift (so far) from me is happy. There's something amazing in the way that even something small can make someone smile so much. 

Anyway, this is just a quick little post, as it's late, and I'm tired. 

I just wanted to say 

Merry Christmas, you beautiful humans!! Or, if you don't celebrate Christmas, Merry 25th December. I hope you have had/are having a wonderful day! You deserve it!! 

Anyway, goodnight!

- Dottie 

We're the New Generation. (I Need a Role Model!!)

Ever been to a punk show, kid? 

Ever listened to punk music? Enter Shikari? The King Blues? There's a common theme in punk music, and it's not just not caring about what people think. That message is that we are the new generation. We are the ones to change this world. 

Adults right now are here to set us up to change this world. Change things for the better. And we cannot see that. 

Yet the punks can. 

There are a few adults, people of a slightly older generation, who are encouraging us to get up, get out of our houses, and yell. Make a band. Write something. Paint something. Find a purpose, find a voice. 

These are the people to look up to. These are the people changing the future for the better, giving us the words and thoughts we need to make a change. The punks and the indies and the ones with the open minds are the ones who are finding a voice, finding a way to make a difference, and show the world that they can shape the future. 

I'm seventeen. I can't vote. I know nothing of my legal system, or how my country is run. Social media is opening my eyes, as is music, and the people around me. I know that something needs to change. I know that it falls to my generation. And it's fucked. We're too busy getting drunk and messing up friendships and relationships to care about what's happening in our own countries, and the ones around us. 

Why is this? Why is our next party more important than a corrupt or bad government? Why is there no one telling us that we need to stand up and make our voices heard?! So many people tell us that they want to hear the voices of the youth, and yet we don't make our voices heard! Instead, we turn up our mass-produced pop music and yell and cuss when something changes and we don't like it. 

We need someone to look up to. We need to turn to those who have large followings on social media, and they need to voice their opinions. Nowadays, its all about aesthetic, and we can't possibly say anything about politics, or taxes, because we can't possibly admit that we are free-thinking humans! (... That was sarcasm, by the way).
Hah, we can't just sit by and let people tell us what we should do!! We think that we have a voice, because we have the Internet, and a Twitter account. We don't. Remember what happened in Paris super-recently? That's all forgotten now, but remember literally everyone tweeting, or changing their Facebook profile photo? Yeah. Know why we did that? Because everyone was doing it. We didn't want to stand out as being different. So many other people die, but we never hear about them, do we?! 

Nah, mate. I don't want to sit by and let the world pass me by. I want my voice to be heard! I need a role model, to show me how to do this. Someone alternative, punk, whatever. People who aren't afraid to show that they have opinions on life, and the news.. I don't even know, man, but I want to look up to someone who is doing all that they can to make a difference! 

This is why I'm thankful for the punk movement. The anger, the music. Because that anger gives people a voice. We protest. We don't sit by idle while the world is being damaged beyond recognition.

We're human beings, guys! We're meant to be intelligent, remember?!

This might have been a tad deep for Christmas Eve, but whatever. I want to start making a difference to the world around me. 

Bye for today! 
- Dottie. 

That's the Thing About Introverts... They Demand to be Ignored..

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DottieG123

So many people tell me that I'm really shy, or super quiet, and that I should just talk more. This is something that I've struggled with all through school, both primary school, and secondary school, and it's still a major personality trait in college. 

I am a quiet person. 

Why can't people just accept this? Y'know, I like being quiet. I would much rather be with a few close friends in a coffee shop, and have deep and meaningful conversations, than exchange small talk with an acquaintance at some random's party. 
On basically every single parent's evening in school, my parents have been told the same thing. "She needs to talk more" "She's too quiet" "She doesn't interact with the large majority of the class". Okay, my year 5 teacher even told my mum that I deserved to be bullied because I was too quiet, and didn't really like spending time with other people. A teacher said this. No one seems to understand that maybe I just like being alone sometimes, or with a few close friends. 

Another thing that I'm regularly told is that I'm shy. And yes, I may seem cripplingly shy. And yes, I do sometimes agree that I am shy. But I don't think I am, not really. I, personally, feel that there is a difference between being an introvert and being shy. 

You see, an introvert is someone who is very though-orientated; they're always inside their own head, deep in thought, and they seek a depth of knowledge, and they are energised by being alone. A shy person is merely reserved or embarrassed in the company of others. 
I see myself as an introvert. 
I think a lot, that has to be said. I can also talk a lot, in the right company. But, when I spend time with large groups of people, I am more than happy to sit and listen to them talk. I find it interesting. Yet still I get asked if I'm okay, or why I'm so quiet, or jokes are made about how weird it would be if I suddenly got really angry, lost it, and started yelling and putting people in their places.. I don't really feel embarrassed in social situations. Another thing about me is, I quite like talking to strangers. Which, I know, can be dodgy, but I've spoken to people on buses before, and it's so lovely to see people's views on things, and just to spend some time with someone different. A shy person wouldn't do that, would they? Like, I don't know, they would probably just listen to their iPod or something. 

As usual, I'm not too sure where this post is going, but I want to write it, so I'm going to just go with whatever I put.. 

People always assume that introverts are shy, and we're not really. We just are different to extroverts. I've met a fair few extroverts, and social butterflies in my seventeen years of life, and I cannot even begin to tell you how jealous I am of their ability to just thrive in social situations, and to be confident, and chatty and interesting. 

But I am who I am. 

Another thing I want to write about in this post is a thing called an "ambivert". And no, it's not some weird animal or whatever. There is a spectrum of social interaction, just like there is a spectrum of sound (left to right) and a spectrum of asexuality (sexual to asexual) and people can sit anywhere on these spectrums.. Apart from maybe the sound one.. Yeah, that didn't make much sense, did it? 
But anyway, back to ambiverts. They are people that aren't introverts and aren't extroverts. People have always assumed that the social interaction thing is just black and white, you either like people, or you don't. But, unfortunately, nothing is black and white. 

An ambivert is someone who might love spending time with people, but will get tired after a period of time spent socialising; they enjoy time alone, but too much time alone sends them into a depressive slump.. You get the picture. Basically, an ambivert is someone who is kind of a crossover between a bubbly, social extrovert, and a quiet, thoughtful introvert. 
A very useful, and insightful article about ambiverts can be found right here. 

So that's all I really have to say for today, other than, I apologise if the title of this post offended anyone, it was a joke, I am very sorry. (I adapted John Green's quote, "That's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt." I just thought it was funny). 

Okay, bye for today! 
- Dottie. 

I'm an Indie Kid!!

I tried to be artistic.. This is what I usually wear. 

It's funny, the other week my friends ("friends"?) at college were trying to give me a label. One of them is goth, another is scene, another is a metal head.. They couldn't really give me a label, other than alternative. 
Which, I guess, is because I don't have dyed hair, facial piercings, or even loads of ear piercings, and what I wear varies from day to day. Sometimes I will wear really cute, floral tops, and sometimes I wear oversized band tees and ripped skinny jeans. Heck, I've even worn a skirt to college before!! Yeah, for a whole day. So I am label-less, I guess. The only thing I could be described as is a rocker, when I wear my Docs.. 

But I'm actually pretty happy that I don't have a label. I think it means that I have nothing to conform to, I don't have to always wear grungy clothes, or pretty clothes; I can mix and match and be 100%, purely myself. 
This generation, and many before, are obsessed with having labels. Is someone your boyfriend, or your best friend? Does it really matter? And there's groups in society, too.. The '70s had the mods and the rockers.. And now there are so many different groups of people.. There's the hipsters, and the preppy kids, and the alternative people, like goths, and punks and scene kids.. Like, why do we have to have a label, why do we have to conform??
As I've already mentioned, I wear so many different styles of clothes.. I wear guy's clothes, girl's clothes.. I don't really care. And yet, so many people do. So many females will not shop in the guy's section. Why? What does it matter? Clothes are gender neutral. If you're looking for things like hoodies, or jumpers, or big tees, just check out whatever is in the men's section, because it's all actually really nice. And so what if a guy has the same item of clothing as you?? If you'd shopped in the girl's section, another girl would have the same thing as you.. 

I don't really know where I'm going with this, but bear with me.. 

Society, and the press, and just people in general, put so much pressure on people to label themselves, and conform to what that label states they should do/say/be. I've seen so many things around the internet to do with not being punk unless you dress punk, and that's so wrong. I, for the most part, identify as a punk, not because of how I look, but because of the music that I listen to, and the mindset that I have (y'know, the "I don't care what society thinks" kind of thing). I can also identify as indie, because of the music I listen to, and the clothes I wear. But I don't purposely try to listen to that music, or dress the way I do. It just happens because I wear/listen to what I like. 

I feel like most people expect girls to be skinny, and pretty, and wear nice clothes, and have perfect makeup, etc. And I'm a girl. I am not like that, at all.. I mean, sure, I guess I'm skinny, and I think I am pretty. But I don't always wear nice clothes, and I never look 100% put together, with perfect hair and makeup; my eyeliner smudges like there's no tomorrow, my eyeshadow probably makes me look like I have black eyes, and my hair is never perfectly straight, no matter how much I straighten it.

I don't wear foundation. This is a pretty big one, or at least, something I've been thinking about for a while. I feel like I should, but I don't feel comfortable doing so. I don't really like the feel of having foundation on my skin, and I touch my face a lot, so it would probably mess up anyway. I have pretty okay skin, despite getting the odd spot, or ten, but whenever I watch YouTubers doing these "get ready with me" videos, they always wear foundation, and concealer, and look perfect. I can't help but think why don't I look like that? 

I guess the point of this post is, you shouldn't worry about the pressures of society, or even the pressure you put upon yourself to look a certain way, or be a certain way. 
Sure, wear makeup if you want to. I have to admit, it is pretty fun, as is wearing pretty dresses and cute tops. But then, so is wearing a tonne of think black eyeliner and dirty Converse.. 

Be unapologetically yourself. Go to local gigs and buy merch. Cut the sleeves off and wear it with pride. Go to vintage shops and wear old Docs, or shop at high-end clothes stores. Just make sure that you're doing what makes you happy. Because, ultimately, it's your life. Don't try to be a certain way, just because society says you should. 

I'm going to say it again...

BE UNAPOLOGETICALLY YOURSELF! 

Okay, bye for today!!

- Dottie. 

I'm Looking for Inspiration...

Okay, so today has been a sad day. And that happens sometimes, I accept that. I guess though, sad days are worse when I'm not in college, because I'm not surrounded by people to take my mind off of the sadness. So I sit there, sad. 

And nothing I can do will change the sadness. 

I think it's worse, around this time of year. Everyone is busy, everyone wants things to be perfect, and they don't really have much time to just say hi, and keep people company. 

I'm fine with that. No, really, I am. But plans fall through, and things don't happen. 

And things are getting weird at the moment. I adore college. I adore the people there, I think they're lovely. But I don't know if they are people that I will spend the rest of my life around. I'm already excited to move on, and go to university, and to meet new people. 

I think it's because I already have fabulous friends, and they cannot be replaced. 

Which could be why I can only really say I have one friend at college. Before September, I didn't really have any guy friends, like, at all. And now I have one.. Maybe two.. So that could be why I haven't clicked with the girls. I already have amazing female friends.. I don't need anyone else to gossip, or talk about Lord of the Rings, or bands, or whatever with. And I told my guy friend this.. And he gets it.. And he's made an effort to actually ask me how I'm doing, and he tried to make plans to hang out, before he's busy for two-ish weeks.. But whatever, I'll see him at college..

That wasn't what I wanted to write about. This Blogmas thing is really quite fun, but I'm getting ill (winter cold) and all I really do is write about my day, which is so not interesting. I want to write some really great stuff for this blog, and look at it and be proud.. And right now, I'm not really doing that. 

Now, don't get me wrong, there is inspiration all around me. Just not the right inspiration. I have ideas for posts, I just need to take photos, and make stuff look beautiful. Because that's what I want. I want a beautiful blog filled with high quality images and lovely words. 

Not just ramble-y posts about a crappy day and friends that aren't really. 

So here's the deal. I can write a maximum of three of these a week. The other four, have to be amazing. Sound good? Good. 

Then I shall leave you with this. 

I just thought it was a nice thought. 

- Dottie

Today, I Miss People.

It feels so weird to be writing this, but I actually miss being around people. I'm usually the most introverted person ever, I don't like speaking to people, and just being around people really exhausts me. 

But this last week has made me realise that maybe I'm not as introverted as I thought. Like, sure, if I'm in a large group of people, or if I'm with people I don't really know, then I won't talk much, and I will probably be on my phone instead of socialising. Because that's what I do. But the people I am friends with, or could be friends with, I'm actually pretty happy hanging out with. 
So yeah, I actually miss people. In college, there is always someone playing guitar, or bass, or singing, or drumming on tables, or someone playing music really loudly, or watching Adventure Time, so it's never quiet. Literally, never. (I usually leave with a headache, every single day). Being at home this past week, it's been really silent, as it's just been me, alone. I actually miss the noise, and being surrounded by people. I actually had people I could talk to, if I wanted to. But at home, there's no one. 

Another thing I actually miss about college is walking in and having someone to say hi to. I don't talk to anyone all day, because my parents and big sister are working, and my little sister is a teenager, so she sleeps all day.. This is probably a really pathetic post, but I miss people. I miss being around people with a similar mindset to me, and people who I can just talk to about random crap.. Hahah I don't even know, I'm so lonely!!

I miss my friends. Both my amazing friends from school, even though I only saw them a week ago, and my (only?) friend from college, who likes the Fearless Vampire Killers. Hopefully I'll be seeing them in the next few days, though! 

On another, happier note, I've been trying to just write music. Not songs, not with lyrics, but just putting some chords together and seeing how it sounds. And it's actually really fun, and I feel like I might be getting somewhere with it. The thing with college is, despite my love for it, I never really get time to play guitar, which makes me sad, as I really enjoy it.. 

Okay, I have no idea what I'm on about any more, so I'm going to go now. 
It's less than a week until Christmas!!! Yay!!!!!

Bye! 
- Dottie. 

Ten Reasons I Love Christmas

So far, this Blogmas hasn't been very Christmassy. So this post is going to change that!!

1. Pretty nail varnish!! 

Yup, I love Christmas because I can paint my nails with pretty sparkles and cute snowflakes. It's exciting, okay?? 

2. Lovely Christmas Lights

Since I've been going to college in a city, I've been seeing Christmas lights since before mid-November, so it's fair to say I've been excited!! It always looks so nice to see everything lit up, and sparkly. I always think it looks so pretty, and very festive!! 

3. Shopping for Other People

I always find shopping for presents fun, because it shows me how well I know other people. I find it pretty cool that I can walk into a shop and pick up something that my best friend would love.. It just shows people how much attention you pay to them, and how well you know them. It makes me happy! 

4. Snuggly Jumpers and Fluffy Socks!

I don't always live in band tees!! I love wearing warm, wooly cardis and jumpers in winter, because it always looks adorable, and just who doesn't love fluffy socks?!? They look hella adorable, are really warm, and stop your winter boots from giving you blisters. It's win-win! 

5. Chocolate, and Cake, and Biscuits! 

Because it's so nice to have yummy chocolate for when you're watching Christmas movies. And just cake.. Cake is cool.. And tins of biscuits.. Yep, I'm excited now!! 

6. Christmas Music

Because it wouldn't be Christmas without cheesy 80s pop songs, right?! There is also some hella good pop punk covers kicking around if you look for them!! 

7. Spending Time with Family

I love Christmas because I get to see my family. And that makes me happy. Because I spend so much time at college, or with friends, or just sat in my room, and it means I never really see my family. So that's ultimately why I love Christmas so much. It's not the food, or the gifts. It's seeing people I love. 

8. Giving Gifts

Yup, I love giving people presents. I love to see their faces when they realise what you got them.. It makes me so very super duper happy.. Because you made someone who means a lot to you happy.. 

9. Movies

I love snuggling up on the sofa on Christmas eve/day/boxing day and just watching movies. It's so peaceful, and I really love watching movies.. So there we go, that's a thing. 

10. January Sales. 

I know, I know, this isn't a Christmas thing, but it's nice to get stuff heavily discounted. Sales are just brilliant!!

Okay, so those are ten things I love about Christmas!! It's pretty pathetic, I know.. But it was fun to write!! Let me know why you love Christmas in the comments below!! 

Bye for now,

- Dottie, 

Music Rant!!

Chucks featuring bass guitar

Wham, bam!! I've thought of something interesting to write!!

Music. Why do people feel the need to hate on different types of music?!?! I know a fair few alternative people, punks, scene kids, and the like, and a fair few of them will always comment about how terrible modern pop music is. And, no, mate, that's wrong. It's not "terrible" it's just different. You just don't like it. 

You don't have to like everything, and to solve that problem, just don't listen to it!! I like Bring Me the Horizon. I don't like their newest album very much. I don't like new Fall Out Boy. I don't like a lot of things. And I don't go around telling people how rubbish it is, just because I don't like it. Not everyone is going to have the same taste in everything, and that's okay. I completely accept that. 

I used to be pretty stuck up about the fact that I listened to punk music, and I thought I was more free-thinking than everyone else because I explored new music, and a whole new scene. And I fell in love with it. And I was actually quite bitchy about music, and a tad snobby about it. But since then, my music taste has widened even more, and now I will listen to most things, from movie soundtracks to Metallica. I have since accepted that all music is a work of art, whether is has some bloody brilliant guitar riffs, or some pretty gosh-darn snazzy synthesizer work. It's not easy to write music, or lyrics. Everything we do is inspired by something else. 

An example of this is. I am myself. And yet, I am a combination of everyone around me, and the music I listen to. I am the band members that I love. I can't take credit for liking a band first, and people can't be mad at me for jumping on the bandwagon when an artist got popular. 

And so music sounds similar. There are only so many combinations of chords you can create. Nothing is original any more, everything has been done before. So we need to find a new way of doing something old, instead of hating on, and putting down the people who have tried and failed. 

There is also a reason for most pop music sounding the same. Apart from the obvious, it's the style of music, there is an actual reason. Have you ever stopped to think that it's what sells? Record companies and publishers will realise this, and they exploit people to make as much money as possible. As soon as punk music becomes popular again, they will be promoting that as much as they can, and selling as many records as they can. The music industry is an industry and it needs to make money to survive. 

Basically, this leads back to illegal downloading, and even just streaming music. The whole industry cannot survive on pennies. We need to support it, and ranting about how shit music is does not help. Just appreciate that the industry is still going. 

But anyway, back to the whole hating thing. Don't do it. Just appreciate that your taste differs to everyone else's and accept that. You don't have to like everything. 

Okay, rant over. I think. 

If you have any more to add, just comment it below, and we can discuss stuff!!

Bye for now!

- Dottie. 

I'M TIRED AND PUNK ROCK!!!

Last night, I went to a gig!! And it was really, really FUN!!!! I've really missed going to punk gigs, and having people slamming into me, and the music being too loud and just being around people with similar mindsets and attitudes to music and gigs and stuff. So that was fun!

And today I went shopping with my older sister, and I did the thing where I spent too much money.. Money that I'm not even sure that I have.. (I need a job!!) 
I got a really nice denim jacket, and it's so cute and I feel so punk and awesome when I wear it!! It was from Fat Face, and it was £25 reduced from £48, so I kiiiiiiind of had to get it.. But it's an investment buy, I swear!! If I look after it, it should last a long while. So there. I didn't waste my money.. 

Okay, I probably did. And I've spent most of today justifying that it was worth spending money I don't have on a jacket that I don't need. And thinking of how great/gross the gig last night was. I'm going to write about that, now.. Because it was awesome. 

I saw the lovely guys in Dead, and they were pretty awesome! But, as they were first support, they played a twenty minute set, so it wasn't as fun as it would have been if they'd headlined. The second band were, um, odd. The singer kept saying that every song was their last song, and I just wasn't that into it.. And then there was Turbowolf, who were insane!! Emma, they're probably not your type of band, but I loved them. It made me realise that I've really missed the whole gig scene, and how much fun it is to join in with crowd activities and to not care how messy/sweaty I look, or if I look like an idiot, because no one else cares about those things, either!! 

Now I've been to a lot of gigs. I've seen George Ezra live three times. His music is different to the stuff I usually listen to, more acoustic and less punk-influenced, and you can tell by the crowd that he attracts. When water gets handed out at the alternative gigs, people usually share it around, make sure no one gets hurt, etc., whereas pop gigs, it's more selfish, every man for himself type behaviour.. I don't even know why I'm writing this, it isn't at all relevant to what I wanted to write about today.. 

I am very tired. I probably shouldn't have gone shopping today, after going to the gig last night, but there we go.. Also I managed to mess up my Converse. If I remember, I'll post a picture soon. I don't know what happened, but they look really gross now, haha!!

I'm going to stop writing now, because I am just writing crap, and I hate doing that. 

Bye for now!! 
- Dottie. 

HOW TO: Scruffy Converse!! (and other things..)

Look how good my camera is!!!

Do you ever look at those DIY tutorials, and they are literally the most unhelpful thing to ever be written. Like they basically tell you all that you know. 

Another annoying one is when the web page's name suggests that it's going to be a whole page on relevant things, and then it turns out to be a load of links to other pages. Yup. Useful.. This happened on Tuesday when I was looking for DIY facial scrubs. It just kind of annoyed me.. 

But back to the first one... Something that I've always wanted is a pair of really messed up Converse. I've had mine for around three years, now. And at least once a year, I will google "how to scruffy Converse" and it basically tells me what I already know.. You either get a nail file and scuff the canvas, or basically just wear them. Which, obviously, I've done. (Not the nail file part, the wearing them part..) You don't spend nearly fifty quid on a pair of shoes for them to sit in a wardrobe for years. Nah, mate, not me!! 

However, my beloved Chucks are slowly getting there. I wore them to the dodgiest club ever (by my standards.. Which is hella dodgy, as it turns out..) and fell up the stairs. Well done, me. I wasn't even drunk, because if you click here, you'll find out that I'm (still) straightedge. So one of the toes has got a yucky scuff on it.. I've just realised that it could well be someone's sweat, because at the time, the venue had sweat condensing on the walls. Ew, ew, ew. I've also had someone else's blood on these shoes.. And I know what you're thinking (kill them, kill them with fire!!!!), but it wasn't my fault. I was at a gig and someone got punched in the face and their blood dripped onto my shoes... And my white shirt.. So y'know, it's not like they shouldn't be scruffy and dirty, especially after three years of wear. 

But there's something about Chucks that I love.. I think it's the fact that they're the shoe of choice for punks, and rockers, and alternative people. And, sure, the hipsters have them now, but it's still a pretty cool thing.. 

By the way, if you're here to learn how to mess up your Converse, the post title lied, it's basically just me talking about shoes. But feel free to stick around, look at some other posts, and I dunno, join my gang.. (There's like three of us..) I don't have a gang... 

Hahah I don't even know what I'm going on about any more, I'm just kind of writing. One of these days I will write an actual post with an actual purpose. Today, however, is not that day. Nope, not today. Sorry. I'm actually finding it really fun to just write and think and put random crap down on a page. I also pull faces when I write, because I'm imagining myself saying this as I write it. 

I am listening to a song that keeps saying "You. Are. Beautiful." And it's making me happy. Also this post is early today. They don't usually go up until like 9 pm (UK time). I guess I'm just bored today.. 

Whelp, I just realised that I haven't practised guitar in days, so that is what I'm going to do now!!

To end this post, I am going to tell you that the photo doesn't do the scruffiness of my shoes justice. The flash was on. 

Bye for now!!

- Dottie. 

Drawing Dragons and Christmas Cupcakes!

Phone photo of my dragon!

I lied. I didn't get round to tackling the shelves in my room. I just couldn't face it today, so it will probably happen next week. Or not at all. I'm not too sure, yet! 

I have, however, been productive today!! Kinda. 
I got up at around 9:30 (because it's the holidays!) and kind of danced around my room for half an hour and singing very badly to loud punk rock music. (That's something that has happened a lot today!) Then I got dressed, and ate breakfast. I was considering making a DIY facial scrub and making a post about it, but my skin was so not in need of that (because face scrubs usually lead to breakouts, and that can't happen this week!), so I might do it another day. 

Instead, I used my lovely Superdrug face wash, and then made cupcakes. And they are pretty good, even if I do say so myself!! They are gingerbread cupcakes, with a slight hint of cinnamon and vanilla. Yummy!! There's not much really to say about cupcakes, other than they're cupcakes, and they're pretty good. 

I also did housework. I Hoovered/vacuum-ed the entire downstairs of my (small-ish) house, and then mopped the floors, too! So now the floors of my house are nice and clean, and I'm proud!! 

And then I've been doodling, and listening to/dancing to the Pop Punk Perfection playlist on Spotify. *flashback to 2001 when pop-punk was uber cool*  
I've had an obsession with drawing dragons recently, which is, um, weird? I don't know. Dragons are really beautiful creatures though.. Smaug is amazing, hahah!! ...Did I spell his name wrong? Sorry, Emma!! 

I don't know what else to write today, I'm just rambling. I feel like these Blogmas posts should have more of an interesting thing.. My content is just going downhill, hah! And I might not be able to write one tomorrow, because I've got a busy day.. Fun times.... 

I don't know what else to write, so I'm going to leave it here for now!! 

Bye, guys!!
- Dottie. 

Cute Candles and a Clean Room!!

Today has been, um, productive?? Today was the first official day of my Christmas holidays, and I know what you're thinking, exciting, right?! Nah, mate. Not exciting at all. 

Yay, a blurry Christmas Yankee Candle!

Now don't get me wrong, three weeks of not having deadlines, and not being around a load of people, and having to look presentable, and y'know, actually awake at 9 AM after getting up at 6 AM. But I'm going to miss college. I will miss like two of my friends, and being in the Mac suite and playing keyboards, and the noise. The constant noise. God, am I going to miss that. I have come to hate silence. And I have no one to talk to in the day, because everyone is either at work, or school, sixth form or college. I am alone. 

But on the flip side, it does mean that I can get stuff done without any interruptions!! Today, I cleaned and tidied my entire room, and changed my bed sheets. It smells so nice in here now!!  Although that could well be the candle.. It smells of Sparkling Snow. Whatever the heck that smells of. 

And tomorrow I intend to attack the shelves in my room. Because they are full of crap. And I am determined to get the Tumblr room I've always dreamed of. So there. 

The reason behind my cleaning and tidying is that since it's the holidays, I'm going to be spending more time in my room, and so I want it to be a nice, relaxing, tidy space. They're right when they say a tidy room equals a tidy mind. It's so much nicer to be in a clean room!! 

Another thing is, my room is my space, so I want it to feel like that.. I've got posters and gig tickets everywhere, but I don't know, I want more than that.. I want photos of my friends everywhere, and cute candles and fairy lights because I'm not 100% punk kid. Honest!!

And I'd love for all of my books to be on shelves, instead of in piles literally all over the floor. And all of my CDs and vinyls could have space... I really cannot wait to get it sorted now, haha!! 

I don't really know what to write about, other than the face that I've been listening to indie bands all day. Like, all day.. And I've been watching make up tutorials on YouTube... And I haven't properly gotten dressed today. I am wearing my Pierce the Veil tee and leggings. It's a lazy day. Judge me!!

Okay, bye for today!! 

- Dottie. 

Superdrug Haul!!

Hello guys, and welcome to the second day of my "Blogmas" as it were!!
As I mentioned yesterday, I went shopping, and so today, I want to show you what I got!! I probably spent a bit too much money on makeup, but it's actually something I really enjoy, and I like experimenting with different shades of colour, so why not? It's nice to treat yourself once in a while, right?!
Before I begin this haul, I should probably say I'm not sponsored by anyone to write this.. I just did it because I wanted to. 

So let's begin!! 

The first thing that I picked up was the Makeup Revolution Redemption Palette in the shades Essential Mattes. I haven't actually used it yet, but my sister has one, and it's really good!! All of the colours are pigmented, and super-lovely to use. They also last pretty well, although I don't know how well they'll fare on oilier skin. 
The colours in my palette aren't sparkly, shiny ones, as I didn't really want something OTT, I just wanted it to be quite natural, and gentle-looking, as I tend to do quite harsh eyeliner. The colours are also all shades that you just kind of need, really. I could probably get away with using the lightest shade as a highlight just under my eyebrow, and I could possibly even use the dark brown to fill in my eyebrows, which is pretty cool!! 
Not a bad buy for only £4!! Check it out here! (If you have a little explore at other products, you'll find that there is literally loads of different palettes like this, all for a similar/the same price!) 

To go with the eyeshadows, I got two more brushes, as it is nice to have different shapes and sizes to do different looks, and use different colours. I got the one in the photo above, which is slightly cropped out, and the one in the photo to the right. They are both really soft, and quite nice to use. While they're not the expensive ones, they do the job, and, as I'm just getting into makeup properly, I don't want to spend loads of money on them. The top one costs £2.99, and can be found here. The second costs £2.49, and can be found here. There was also a buy one, get one half price offer, so that was pretty handy!! 

Next, I headed to the Barry M station to pick up the Kohl Pencil in white. This is because I read somewhere that you can use a white Kohl pencil as an eyeshadow primer to make colours appear more vibrant and pigmented. I thought it would be pretty cool to check out!! They can also be used around your tear duct to make you appear more awake. (Never line your waterlines, as it causes your tear duct to go funny, and you may have to have an operation to amend it. Just don't do it). I've not actually used this, but I have tried it out on the back of my hand, and it's very pigmented, and the liner is soft and creamy, which is good!! It's £2.99 and you can check it out here. Again, this is available in loads of different colours, so feel free to mix and match!! 


I also needed a new eyeliner, so I picked up Barry M's Blink Precision Eyeliner in black (of course!). The reviews for this are kind of mixed, so I don't really know what to expect of this, but it seems to be good. It seems to be a good colour, from the test I did on the back of my hand, but I don't know how long that will last. Ah, well, I'll let you guys know!! You can click here to take a look at it, and it costs £4.59. 
Now, because I spent over £6 in Barry M, I got a lovely new nail polish for free!! So I got the Barry M Gelly Nail Paint in Sparkling Amethyst. It is such a pretty colour, you can see it in the photo above, kind of, and in really good light, there are so many sparkles.. (However, I was wearing dark purple nail varnish, then I pained over it, so it might look totally different without it..) It also really is super shiny, which is great. If you want to buy it, click here! It originally costs £3.99, and honestly, I would pay that for it, because it's a great little product!!

The final thing that I got from Superdrug was the Simple Kind to Eyes Eye Make-up Remover, because I was running out of the one I usually use, and I couldn't find what I was looking for. This was only £1.65 in some sale thing, so click here to buy it, I guess? 
I would actually really recommend this to anyone who wears a lot of waterproof makeup (which you shouldn't do everyday, by the way! It's bad for you!!!) because I usually struggle with removing my waterproof mascara, but this actually did the job brilliantly!! It's also really gentle, and doesn't have any sort of smell, really. The only thing I should say about this is, it leaves your skin feeling slightly sticky, and you should probably wash your face/eyes with water straight after using it, because I didn't do this right away last night, and my eyes were stinging a little bit. It could just be me, but be careful about that. Hmm.. There isn't really much I can say about this.. It does the job it's supposed to. That's all, really... 

So that's all that I got from Superdrug!! It might not seem like much, but it was to my wallet/purse!! I hope that some of you guys might be interested in checking out these products, and if you want me to do a little review once I've used them, let me know!!

The only other things I got yesterday were bus tickets, tea, toast, and a candle that smells of clean sheets. I feel so tumblr right now because of that candle.. 

Okay, so that's that, hahah!!
Bye for now,
- Dottie!! 

I've Missed This!!

Okey dokey, so in yesterday's post, I mentioned that I'm going to try and blog every day throughout my Christmas break. Which means three weeks' of posts, yay!! 

The reason behind this is, I've actually missed just writing, and being creative in a way that I 100% enjoy. So each day, I will attempt to write something that anyone who reads this blog might find interesting, or insightful. 

There will probably be a haul or two, as it's nearly Christmas, and I'm going shopping today, some photography, a lot of talk about music.. Hahah it's basically going to be a little scrapbook of my Christmas break. Which will be fun for me!! 

I feel that sometimes it's nice to have something to look back on, and I'm actually really happy in college, so I feel that I'm going to be really happy this holiday, despite maybe missing one or two of my college friends. But hopefully we'll get to hang out. 

And I finally will get to see my amazing friends from school!! I've missed these guys waaaaaaay too much, and we always seem to be busy and never get to hang out, which is such a shame. It's so weird that we're all moving on with our lives, and we don't immediately know how each of us are feeling. I miss that. 

I actually really hate having to get to know people. Especially when those people make it really difficult for you to get to know them. Sometimes it's fun though, because people can be really interesting, and I love it when people are really open with you and tell you everything. And when they can tell how you're feeling. Yup.. Those people are so great!! 

And wham, bam!! Blogmas day one is complete. Sorry this has been such a short post, but I need to get ready to go out now.. So see y'all tomorrow!! 

- Dottie!