I've Come a Long Way in a Year...

Today is my first day of my second year at college, studying music technology, and I decided that it's time for a little reminisce. See, this time last year, I'd already started my first year as a shy, skinny teenager with a big fringe and even bigger t-shirts. I carried around much too much for my course (especially as everything is done on computers...), and was too scared to speak to anyone. 

Now, however, I'm still just as shy, but I feel like I'm definitely getting there on the talking to people front. Other things have definitely changed though, and I'd like to think about those today. 

Firstly, my body confidence has shot skywards! I would never have even dreamed of wearing a crop top, or anything remotely tight-fitting or figure-hugging to college.. Now? Well, I love wearing crop tops and super-skinny jeans, short shorts and skirts, and tight tank tops, even on days when my belly is bloated and feels icky! It just feels like me, and I don't feel the need to hide away from that anymore. While some of this confidence has come from having a boyfriend, a lot of it was because I suddenly started seeing myself as I really am, instead of a few sizes bigger... Those band shirts are now pyjamas! 

And, oh yeah! I have a boyfriend, what?!? This wasn't really something that I was expecting to come from college, I thought the people in my class were cool and all, but I guess surprises are a good thing, right? I'm so happy, and wouldn't change him for the world. 

I can talk to the tutors at college now, and it's pretty great. This is a sign that, yes, my confidence has improved. Another thing that has changed is that I don't get so stressed out about my work anymore, because I know that I am able to complete everything to a high standard, even when I miss lessons, or don't quite understand something. I even managed to skive an afternoon of lessons without getting too upset about it. You should be proud of me! (and not skip lessons!!) 

As well as giving me useful knowledge of the music industry, recording studios, live sound, and much, much more that is going to help my future in the music business, college has helped me so much in general life skills, which I am incredibly grateful for. I was able to work a scary job with complete strangers for an entire summer, which I never thought possible. I am starting to see myself as I am, and I have never been happier. 

I love being able to look back to last year, and compare myself then to myself now, and see the growth. It's a really wonderful thing to realise that you're on your way to becoming a better person. 

Wish me luck back at college today! 

Bye for now,
- Dottie x