Sunday, 10 April 2016

Beauty is Subjective...

Before I begin writing this post, I would like to say that it has been inspired by this post, entitled "Am I Pretty?" and is written by the ever-wonderful Sara Lou. So, before you begin reading what I have to say on this topic, please go and read what she has to say. 
So, go read Sara Lou's very beautiful post here.

Okay, have you read it? Okay, good. 

So. Here's the thing. We can all look in the mirror and see imperfections, see ourselves in a way that other people don't. There is a reason for that. We are so used to our faces, so used to looking at them, that we can spot things that shouldn't be there, a blemish, for example. And we will focus on this so-called imperfection, which makes it stand out more, we notice it more. It's the same with features that we don't like, too. But when someone else looks at you, they don't focus on what you see as less than perfect. They see you as a whole person. And while not everyone will find you attractive, they cannot say that you're unattractive. Every other person you know, and even strangers you pass on the street will not see what you think is so obvious, so awful. It's the same when you look at people - you don't see them as having a weird nose or out of proportion features or whatnot. 

What I'm trying to say here is something that my boyfriend tells me all the time - beauty is subjective. This means that what one person finds attractive may not be attractive to the next person. I do not see myself as an attractive person. I mean, I'm not saying that I'm ugly or anything, but I don't see myself as attractive or beautiful. My boyfriend feels the same way about himself. Yet we are attracted to each other, partly because we like similar things and have some pretty interesting conversations, but we find each other physically appealing too, I guess. But beauty is subjective. It's influenced by things such as personal taste and feelings. 

So you might find someone attractive, while your best friend does not. 

And we get so caught up in the idea of being attractive to everyone that we forget that this is impossible. I'm not telling you not to dress up or do your make-up, because those things are fun, but I am telling you to make sure that you're doing it for the right reasons. 
I see so many younger girls nowadays saying that they hate their perfectly acceptable bodies, and that they feel the need to coat their face in make-up to feel pretty. And this is wrong. Sometimes I wonder if self-loathing is becoming a trend, and yes, Sara Lou pointed out to me that it is. And that's awful. 
No matter your gender, because this isn't just an issue for girls, you should never hate yourself, or feel the need to hide behind something just to feel accepted. I never wear a lot of make-up. I have bad skin sometimes, I get spots, gross ones. But everyone does. And yes, we all have down days, but I know that spots go away and my face looks damn fine with, or without them. 

I want to start promoting self love. I want anyone reading this right now to write a tweet or a facebook status, or a blog post if that's your thing.. And I want you to start a discussion about self love. Talk about your imperfections, the parts of yourself that you don't like, yes, but realise that despite this, you can love yourself. And another thing.. I want us all to stop feeling like everything is a competition - it's not. If you think your best friend looks stunning, then say so! If you see a stranger wearing a bloody remarkable outfit that you only wish you could rock, then tell them, even if it is a little awkward. It's little things like that, that will help to build a person's self esteem, and help them on their way to loving themselves. 
We need to stop ripping apart other people, because it's not doing us any good. 

Remember that self love is important, and not wrong, or vain. Remember that there is nothing wrong with complimenting someone if you think they deserve it. Remember that beauty is subjective, and you should be looking good only for yourself. 

I love you guys. 
- Dottie. 

1 comment:

  1. You hit the nail on the head: self-loathing is the newest trend. I don't know how many times I've made horrible remarks about my body. Self image is something I, and most people nowadays it would seem, struggle with. And it's ridiculous! I've been reading Psalm 139 lately and it talks about how God literally wove our bodies out of the earth. If I say I hate the way I look, I'm not only focusing so much on the outside of me that I miss my inner qualities, but I'm spitting in the face of the way the Lord chose to make me. That's a scary thought! Also, I liked how you wrote that strangers see others as whole people. That's so true! I think there's so much beauty in all people, although they themselves may not see it. Thank you for writing this. I hate to think that one day I'm going to have children and they're going to turn to me and say that they feel ugly. We are worth so much more than our outside appearances.