Sometimes, we all feel uninspired, and trapped in our own minds, unable to find a creative outlet that works for us. I have struggled for a month to know what to write, what people would find entertaining, inspiring, or helpful in any way. I think it's because I haven't felt entertaining or helpful or inspiring myself recently. I've been keeping up with Instagram posts, little snapshots of little moments in each day that made me smile, or made me think, or allowed me to sit back and relax. But for the most part, I've been doing college assignments, or watching Netflix. I couldn't bring myself to finish a book that I was enjoying so much when I started it. I haven't been able to bring myself to play guitar for months...
I miss it. I miss being able to imagine other worlds, and take myself away to somewhere new... I miss feeling excited when I could finally remember that riff and play it without looking at the tab... I miss having interesting topics to write about, and research to do about backgrounds and cultures and musicians, and whatever else I wrote about...
I have tried to write numerous posts in the last few months, but nothing really seemed right, or I just couldn't find the words, or the motivation... Even now, writing this, I'm struggling to find the motivation to finish this post... I don't know what's been going on, because I've felt fine in day-to-day life, but as soon as it comes to my free time, I seem to just while away hours on social media, or mindlessly watch episode after episode on Netflix... My summer started on Saturday, and guess what I did? Watched Netflix. Again on Sunday. Again yesterday (after work), and today...
I think everyone goes through periods like this, where everything seems to plateau and no improvements seem to happen. Well, I think that's been my life for a while. I cannot pinpoint the exact time this started, but it was before Christmas... And I really want my life back... I miss getting lost in a book, and spending hours curled up, forgetting to check my phone. Or playing guitar until my hands ached and my fingers were rough... I don't understand what is happening, but I want to be able to do the things that I enjoy without ending up feeling disappointed and full of insecurities about it...
Since my summer has officially begun, I am going to try to get my mojo back, and start to enjoy things again... I don't know how that's going to happen, but hopefully it does...
Sorry for the break, hopefully I'll be back soon...
Dottie x
Dude, I totally get this. I am the same way sometimes! School ended and I was struggling to blog at all. Like for a month or more, it felt like. But I think you are just exhausted. We all have days and weeks where we just can't bring ourselves to do something creative, productive. I am the same way! I realized this, too, though, and made a list in my journal of all the things I want to actually DO, and slowly, but surely, I'm chipping away at it. I hope you get your mojo back!
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