Hey guys!! I started college on Monday.. Before I start this post, I'd just like to say this is UK college, so I'm still 16.. Okay, on with the post!
College is scary. Really, really scary. Most people are bigger than me, older than me, and know a lot more than me. The building is huge!! There are so many staircases and rooms and I have to take the bus to get there.
Getting the bus is a really big deal for me, especially as I'm on my own. Yesterday there was an awful lot of college students on there, and I was freaking out, as I'm not used to buses or large crowds of people in small spaces.. Other than that, the bus ride is okay, although it is a little lonely.
I'm doing music technology at college, and the course is so interesting. I'm so excited to learn everything!! The only difficult bit is using the Apple Mac computers, as I'm used to Windows, but I will work it out eventually. Most people in my class are really nice, I've got two people who I hang out with, and they're both really nice.. (Although they're not my friends from school.. I miss those people...) They're also my age, which is good, because I think we're the youngest in the class. There is a large group of boys who I think are around 17 or 18, and they scare me. They just seem to be really judgemental and I feel really uncomfortable and insignificant around them. The other girls in the class are nice, too.
As much as I love what I'm doing, I still worry a little when I think of college. (I have a day off today, luckily!) I think it is because I'm not used to it, and it's such a huge change; at school I was one of the smartest (I'm not bragging, but it's really difficult for me now, because I don't understand anything), and one of the oldest, so I felt a little more confident. Now I'm surrounded by older people, who I feel are waaaay more attractive than me, so I feel really insecure about how I look and act.. (Yeah, I've been a bit sad about how I look since starting at college...)
I think change can be a very unsettling thing, and most teenagers in the UK around my age are feeling insecure and worried, and maybe even a little alone. However, I think it's a good thing. As I said in my post about positivity, leaving school and doing something completely different with completely different people will help us grow as people, and we will learn how to manage stress and make new friends and learn to relate to new people.
So if you're like me and are feeling down about starting college or sixth form, just know that it won't last forever, and it will get better. If not, there are always other options. Don't let the people pull you under, you have a right to be doing what you're doing.
I hope everything is okay for you guys!
Until next time,