And nothing I can do will change the sadness.
I think it's worse, around this time of year. Everyone is busy, everyone wants things to be perfect, and they don't really have much time to just say hi, and keep people company.
I'm fine with that. No, really, I am. But plans fall through, and things don't happen.
And things are getting weird at the moment. I adore college. I adore the people there, I think they're lovely. But I don't know if they are people that I will spend the rest of my life around. I'm already excited to move on, and go to university, and to meet new people.
I think it's because I already have fabulous friends, and they cannot be replaced.
Which could be why I can only really say I have one friend at college. Before September, I didn't really have any guy friends, like, at all. And now I have one.. Maybe two.. So that could be why I haven't clicked with the girls. I already have amazing female friends.. I don't need anyone else to gossip, or talk about Lord of the Rings, or bands, or whatever with. And I told my guy friend this.. And he gets it.. And he's made an effort to actually ask me how I'm doing, and he tried to make plans to hang out, before he's busy for two-ish weeks.. But whatever, I'll see him at college..
That wasn't what I wanted to write about. This Blogmas thing is really quite fun, but I'm getting ill (winter cold) and all I really do is write about my day, which is so not interesting. I want to write some really great stuff for this blog, and look at it and be proud.. And right now, I'm not really doing that.
Now, don't get me wrong, there is inspiration all around me. Just not the right inspiration. I have ideas for posts, I just need to take photos, and make stuff look beautiful. Because that's what I want. I want a beautiful blog filled with high quality images and lovely words.
Not just ramble-y posts about a crappy day and friends that aren't really.
So here's the deal. I can write a maximum of three of these a week. The other four, have to be amazing. Sound good? Good.
Then I shall leave you with this.